Health News

 Today was my one year check up with my Hematologist. I have Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia. Basically my immune system attacks my platelets instead of things that make you sick. And you need those platelets to clot blood. I had a very rough initial diagnosis into remission. 

Sadly, it looks like not only have my platelet counts dropped (i'm still normal just a low normal) and my white blood cell count is off. It was not the news I wanted today. And now I'm back to dr's appointments for the forseable future. I'm not going to lie you guys. Chemo was the worst thing I've ever had to do. I was hungry all the time, and sick, and tired and I can't even describe that level exhaustion. Like you just want to melt into a bed and die. I lost my job just because I couldn't keep up with the expectations of my boss. At least this time I'll be able to work from home and when I'm able. A little more flexibility for me. I hope.  

When I had the first round, I was told yup, 3 to 5 years. That's how long it should last. And then I got amazing numbers back. And 3 years to the day practically my levels start dropping. I'm so scared of feeling like that again. My poor little body is just having a rough go of it these past few weeks. And You guys I am really really scared. 

I'm a little drained and sad and scared.