A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

Its been a while. I don't even know where to start. Work struggles, health struggles... Family struggles, I've had it all.

I really didn't think I was going to make it out of September alive. sometimes I still wish I hadn't. I'm trying to get back to that happy me self but I don't think it's ever going to get back that way. I feel like I just have to put on a happy smile and tell everyone I'm alright. But I'm not. I am really struggling. I cry all the way to work in the mornings. When the Dr. doesn't say "Have a good day" because he knows I'm miserable inside it breaks my heart. It hurts to feel this bad about most things and that just makes it all so much worse.

Depression Sucks. Chemo Sucks. and feeling like I have to put on a happy face and fake my way through the day sucks.

And so that's that.