well well well

  You guys haven't seen me in a while. There's been a lot of stuff going on. A lot of stuff that led to depression and late night crying in the shower. And then some pretty serious medical stuff and Chemo treatments. and me completely feeling overwhelmed by love. 

The sickness came upon me. Tonsillitis to be exact, nothing crazy. On thursday I spiked a small fever, and on friday my nurse called in a prescription for an antibiotic. I had a bloodwork appointment on tuesday so it wasn't urgent that I get in to see someone right away. 

Tuesday morning around 3 I woke up and had a nosebleed. Not a good sign for someone with blood disorder. but once again I was headed to the hematologist. not a run to the er kind of thing. I went back to bed. By the time I got up i was bleeding everywhere. Mouth, nose .... anywhere blood could come out. I went to the hematologist, they pulled my blood and i said hey, i should probably see a nurse. Well my nurse came out from the back and said you aren't going anywhere you're at a dangerously low count and the dr wants to see you. 

So i was given a choice IVIG infusions for 2 days or be admitted to the hospital. I was not going home. So luckily i had my laptop and was able to work tuesday and wednesday from the dr's office. Unfortunetly, they did not take. And yesterday I had my first round of 4 chemo treatments. 

I'm not going to lie, I struggled this last week. my poor little body just can't keep itself together and i feel powerless about it. 

but my support circle has I don't even know how to describe it. Kim made me a suprise appointment and took me to my favorite yarn store. I didn't even know she knew that was a place I liked, people brought me cupcakes from across town, yesterday someone delivered me brownies and cookies hot out of the oven. The CEO of our company sent me an email before I was even out of the Dr's office on tuesday. And Tom has just been amazing and has made me tacos every day this week. The recruiter who found my job for me sent me flowers today. 

You know it's a good life you have when you can sit down and cry from being so happy in the middle of Chemo.